Issue #19: Command Performances!
Okay, Marvel, I've got a bone to pick with you. On the cover you say, "You asked for him - you got him! OMEGA SUPREME!" Well, I never asked for him! I hadn't seen him in the cartoon yet, I hadn't seen him in the shops... how the hell WOULD I ask for him? Admittedly he looks pretty cool, what with trashing a whole bunch of Decepticons single-handed (literally- his other hand's a gun), but back then, if I had asked for anything in my Transformers comics, it was probably less Buster Witwicky.
As this shamefully blatant advert for a pricy toy opens, Prime is showing off Omega to the other Autobots. Which is kinda odd; I mean, the Ark isn't THAT big. I'm pretty sure the other 'Bots have already noticed Grapple building a big ol' robot down the hall.
But that Optimus, he's a showman, albeit one who's forgotten his hissy fit about not building Giant Killer Death Robots from a while back. Apparently, building just ONE Giant Killer Death Robot is okay. That's why he's the good guy; that kind of unswerving moral compass.
Now Prime's all frightened and wussy because the 'Cons have Devastator, even though the big green machine got his tail kicked by a fairly unimpressive team a few issues back. Again, being the staunchly righteous robot he is, OP decides that the only recourse is to... um, steal the method of creating the Giant Killer Death Robot. I'm sure it's not so they can make their own, though! He probably just wants it for... uh... um... *trails off awkwardly*
Basically, all the 'Bots are gonna go trash the other guys' base. Well, all of them except for Ratchet, who is a wussy doctor (and has a bunch of dudes to fix anyways), and Omega Supreme, who has to look after the wussy doctor.
Mind you, OP's plan to "run in, steal a bunch of stuff and then run away" doesn't sit well with Grimlock and the other Dinos, who make a stand against such non-violent weaselness by walking slowly away into the woods like a ghostly ballplayer entering a field of corn. Turns out Prime figured they'd do that, proving that his foresight is matched only by his bad man-management skills.
Over at Camp Evil (heh... sounds like a description of Starscream), the Constructicons have finished putting up a handy Ring o' Guns around the mine, although Megatron and Cap'n Kinkwave are still squabbling like America's Next Top Models. Megs eventually flounces out with the tapes and the jets to meet some new buddies from Cybertron. Oooo! I hope it's the Terrorcons!
The 'Bots and their creepy stuffed driver dummies are cruising through town, when Skids accidentally brushes against a car. A minor incident, you might think? But noes... for that car belongs to... JAKE DALRYMPLE, the most terrifying driver on Earth. And he vows REVENGE...
The 'Bots manage to brush their way past the military blockade at the mine (if you haven't yet gathered from this series that the local Oregon armed forces are about as useful as a wet paper bag, where the hell have you been?). Even worse for the soldiers, they then make the mistake of stopping... JAKE DALRYMPLE.
Anyway, while the Autobots are enacting their cunning plan of RUNNING AT THE MINE AS A SMALL, TIGHTLY-PACKED GROUP, Megatron is arriving at the space bridge to find, not allies, but Blaster and pals from the last issue. Disappointment! Cap'n Kinkwave calls to tell him about the attack, and Megs decides this is the perfect opportunity to attack the Ark.
Optimus and friends come up against the Ring o' Guns, and pretty much get whipped, although it's really all a distraction so that the Constructicons will form Devastator while Bumblebee studies them with a Patented Transformer Doohickey. Meanwhile, not-a-Jewish-stereotype Donnie Finkleberg takes the opportunity to run like hell. After easily blasting up Devastator (remind me why they're worried about him again?), Optimus and his guys do the exact same thing. It's a pretty run-away-packed issue, this one.
The soldiers are still detaining... JAKE DALRYMPLE, but they cannot hold back the chaos much longer...
Megatron and his friends rock up at the Ark, where they laugh scornfully at Omega Supreme, which is kinda a mistake as he promptly transforms and kicks the crap out of them. Seriously, he pretty much wastes all the jets and all the tapes except Laserbeak. But then he is the "junction of your destruction" and the "furnace that fires your demise." You go, Giant Killer Death Robot! Even Megs is forced to fly away with his trigger between his legs. Well, I guess the Autobots can just use Omega Supreme every issue now, right? I mean, to not just have him go over and defeat all the Decepticons would be stupid, right?
The Autobots are nearly free and clear, but then... JAKE DALRYMPLE, master of mayhem, forces Skids into the path of Ravage's missile and off a cliff. As if Optimus hadn't proved his hero credentials enough this issue, he bravely leaves his friend there and speeds off. What a guy!
Cap'n Kinkwave chews Megatron out for getting so thoroughly whupped, but Megs points out that the one-eyed one did just as badly, and lucks out because the Cap'n is in the submissive phase of their weird psychosexual relationship.
The Autobots are pretty bummed, because they may have stolen the Devastator plans and killed a whole bunch of Decepticons, but they lost Skids. Um... if by 'lost' you mean 'left trashed at the bottom of a cliff'. Putzes.
Because he is the Burger King
-Skywarp now has his proper colours on the cover!
-Blaster is no longer coloured like Optimus!
-Starscream is still coloured like Skywarp when he is destroyed! (although that might be dark shading, I guess)
You exist because we allow it. You will end because we demand it.
Oh, and OK to print...